The Conscious Businessman, the Conscious Fisherman The Fisherman and The Businessman Are Both Kinda Wrong (And Kinda Right) There is a classic Brazilian story that acts as a critique on unexamined modernist assumptions—that growth is good for its own sake, or that that wealth and success are good because they lead to happiness. The parable […]
To Get More Happiness, Feel More Sadness Opening the Aperture of Emotions To get more happiness, feel more sadness. This is another way of interacting with reality, one in which we can LIVE more fully, embracing everything. Opening the lens is a way of being that is more rich and rewarding than constant re-framing. This […]
Living the Happy Paradox Overcome the Cultural Bias that Equates Happiness with Progress Within a few years, your iPhone is outdated. Within a few months, the newest hit song is overplayed. And within a week, the big reveal from Game of Thrones is old news. It is easy to get caught up in the zeitgeist of today’s […]
Examining The Science of Nature + Happiness “Imagine a therapy that had no known side effects, was readily available, and could improve your cognitive functioning at zero cost. Such a therapy has been known to philosophers, writers, and laypeople alike: interacting with nature […] these effects have recently been documented.” [1] Today’s Hap is simple: Spend […]
How can I hold both of these seemingly contradictory truths?
I have to let go of the assumption that two contradictory ideas cannot coexist at the same time. Beyond relativism, where I can be both tall and short from different perspectives, it is quite possible to be both happy and sad at the same time—from the same perspective.
Easier said than done. We are socialized to draw distinctions and create absolute boundaries because they can be extremely useful. Yet when it comes to the complexity of the self system, psychology, and human emotion, a more encompassing way of understanding is necessary to be more accurate and caring.
So once I let myself experience both the desire to fix my own problem (of wanting to fix other’s problems), and the desire to not fix my own problem (partly in order to fix it), I relax into that paradox.
And whenever I feel myself relaxing into the paradox in order to resolve it, I notice that and laugh. If I notice myself using that relaxation as a technique to fix myself, I just stay with it, noticing the feelings of disappointment and frustration, of wonder and excitement.
Can you imagine what the world would be like if the weapons of today were in the hands of our conquering ancestors? The people who counted slaves as ⅗ of a human or not human at all? Those who killed people of different religions, or started wars with tribes who shared family members?
There is something that makes modern times different, that keeps us from physically annihilating our competition or challenging them to life or death duels. Most people are not aware of it because it is hard to see from the inside, it is difficult to talk about, and it can be misconstrued in a way that seems oppressive, arrogant, and judgemental.
Most people look at what is directly in front of their faces and forget to zoom out and see the context of the entire story of humanity. Doing so the difference can be seen more clearly. Although it is by no means universal, there is a worldwide moral and social development that is more inclusive of others and more tolerant of differences.
And of course our previous way of existing in the world—the hate towards our closest neighbors, the ego and ethnocentricism—still exist. That’s exactly what makes nuclear weapons development in Iran and North Korea so frightening. Yet they are the extreme minority, whereas in the past their point of view was commonplace.
Get What You Want: A Crucial Fact Your DailyHap Author Forgot to Mention Serving others is a very important part of happiness, and I have not talked about it nearly enough. Our well being—physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual—often seems like a personal endeavor. But pursuing health and happiness alone is destined to fail. Studies Show […]
Looking at Well-Being on a Worldwide Scale On DailyHap.com we often look at happiness from a very individualistic perspective, focusing on the happiness of individuals. What happens when we broaden our scope and take a look at the happiness of society at large? In the United States of America we generally measure our progress through […]
It’s easy to do and you’ll reap tons of benefits When we are talking about DailyHappiness sometimes we just need a little reminder to do something simple. In fact, it is often the simple things we know and love that knock us out of a funk—like a tasty piece of fruit, or a phone call […]
You Are Wrong About What Will Make You Happy And Sometimes That’s a Good Thing If you do not have 21 minutes to watch this video where Harvard Psychologist Dan Gilbert exposes some surprising myths about happiness, then here is the gist: We synthesize—as in create synthetically—happiness. And even for the “natural happiness” where we […]
How to Create Instant Intimacy with Anyone The Power of Welcoming and Sharing the First Person Perspective of the Present Moment I went to a fantastic event recently called the Integral Living Room. It was my favorite Integral conference or workshop ever; the most embodied, interactive, and meaningful one I have been fortunate enough to attend. I […]
Patience on the Path to Happiness Work Hard and Treat Yourself with Kindness They say that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and that the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Cliché or not, these words are wise. They are also easy to forget. Yet they apply to your happiness journey just as much […]